Why is every bikini bottom a thong now?

Not very long ago, one could tell someone wasn’t from New Zealand if they were wearing a thong on the beach. They would be happily oblivious to the modesty surrounding bottoms in this little nation, conversing in Latin cadences. However, smaller and smaller bikini bottoms have been making their way onto the beaches and local bums lately.

Read More: 2024 thong bikinis

Bums are cheerful, bouncing, round, and everything we love about baby cheeks, only bigger. They are joyful, happy things. While I think it’s adorable to watch them on the beach, I’m not sure I would feel the same way if I had to bar my own.

I’ve resisted thus far, getting by on bargains from thrift stores and any old lycra item I can still fit into from a past summer. However, elastics are no longer available, drooping crotches are accumulating water, and waves are finding it easier and easier to pull bottoms down. Not to mention the inevitable reality that you start growing again in your 30s, which means pieces come out that shouldn’t. It’s also incredibly frustrating to always be on nipple patrol when you could be laughing, living, loving, or eating, praying, and loving.

Nevertheless, a mall search for a new bikini produced no non-thong results. Undoubtedly, there are those that don’t resemble the thongs hanging on the hooks; these are called “cheeky,” “French,” or “Brazilian,” and their backs may be as wide as a hand. The issue is that they ride up into your crack in real life, which leaves a persistent wedgie and exposes as much as a thong—possibly less comfortably. I put on several styles, including those with tie-up sides, bra strap-like sides, thick sides, and high sides, and they were all too tight in the cheeks. The illusion of choice was present.

Conversely, bikini tops appear to have remained mostly unmodified. The traditional triangles on string are still popular, and scaling up or down makes it simple to change the coverage to your preference. In addition, there are various alternatives to fit a variety of shapes, sizes, and styles, such as bandeau, boob tubes, balconettes, underwired devices, and scooped athletic tops. Rather than serving the only purpose of slinking into a dark chasm, these small clothes are realistic possibilities that fit boobs in various ways.

Regarding bottoms, boylegs and boardshorts have vanished into oblivion, much like mp3 players. Even one-piece swimsuit, which was once considered a safe and modest option, is now mostly considered “cheeky”.

The surge in butt appreciation and sexualization, where the behind has become an attention-grabbing object, is the reason for the bikini bottom thong’s recent surge in popularity. It comes with a can of worms, just like every other popular item of apparel. Is it self-objectifying or liberating to wear butt floss to the beach? Will I feel better about my physique or worse about it when I wear it? Will I be made to feel uncomfortable by stares and remarks from onlookers?

Worms and all, the mall says I’m the only person on the planet who isn’t comfortable showing off my butt, and I’m afraid it means I’m getting older, a prude, and really uncool. undertake I have to accept this new lifestyle of “suns out, buns out,” which will really require me to undertake a lot more personal grooming? Annoying.

My roommate encourages me to go through her suitcase of clothing that are going to the op shop when I come home from the mall. There’s a brilliant blue tankini, which is a really appropriate color, and it has traditional bottoms. I’m spared.

She uploads a picture of herself at the beach a few days later. It’s from behind, so she must have had help. The light is beaming down her back, hitting her hair and revealing two of her cheekbones. It like a beautiful, liberated image straight out of paradise. Maybe it’s wise to abandon butt coverage from the past—for example, believing that SPF15 was sufficient. I visit the mall once again. There are thongs in the following colors: pink, green, flowery (vomit), and chequered (nice, but a little too cute). They’re sold out of the black ones I liked with the white accent.